Wanting the Love of a Lady
by AredithDax
Summary: Nottingham is not as evil as people take him for. He wants Marian to love him but she has other men to worry about. Who will steal her heart?
1. Prologue

I do not own Robin Hood

**Prologue **

George de Saxon, Sheriff of Nottingham, was thought to be a man with great ambitions. Everyone took him for a cold-hearted man whose greatest ambition was to overthrow King Richard and become King himself. They were all fools. They sat there childishly believing that their Lion-Hearted Leader was the best thing since they learned how to bake bread.

Nottingham hated him.

Richard was nothing but a power hungry man who was forcing his ways on other people. Why did he feel it was necessary to force Christianity on the Moores? If they chose to worship another God what was the problem? They had been informed that by being the savages and heathens that they were that they would burn in hell for an eternity. They seemed to be just fine with that. Nottingham had met a few Moores over the years of battle and found them to be more civilized then he felt his people were. While their forms of torture were no better, they had made many advances in science and medicine then England hadn't even thought of. Alright, they worshipped a 'god' called Allah, it wasn't as if Nottingham could act like he was any better.

Nottingham had been raised by a witch who called herself Mortianna and claimed that his parents dying wish was for her to teach their son the old ways. The old ways… it was just as pointless to him as Christianity. Everyone still practiced the old ways when the church wasn't looking. They attended Sunday Mass only to pay lip service to a God so they would not be killed for 'practicing witchcraft'. Now with Richard off on his Holy Crusade, people had started acting more like Christians then the Pagans they knew they were at heart.

Why couldn't Richard just give up and come home. It was obvious that the Moores were not going to change. Nottingham may not like Richard, but things would be better with their King at home on his throne then fighting in Jerusalem. Things at home had become terrible since he went away to fight and Nottingham was getting blamed for it all. Richard was using tons of money to fund his war causing Nottingham to raise taxes to make up for it. He hated doing it because he knew he was causing the people to suffer, and he tried his best to do what he could to help the suffering. He gave money to the poor at church on Sundays and also made sure that the orphans and lepers had scarps to eat seeing as how no one else was going to help them. Even with trying to help the people, he was still unpopular. All the anger that families had over the losses of sons, husbands, and fathers was directed at him.

It didn't help any that his cousin Guy of Gisborne liked to play King of the Castle while Richard was away. Nottingham had only recruited him because he thought that Guy would be good help. That had been a big mistake. Guy had become drunk on the power that had been given to him and had used it to exploit the already suffering people. Nottingham had tried to get Guy to stop, but it had been a pointless effort. So Guy had become feared by the people and that fear transferred to Nottingham as everyone thought Guy was just following orders.

Nottingham was just as alone as ever. Feared, hated, and alone. Nottingham wanted a woman. Of, course he had whores in his castle that he would see a few times a week, but he wasn't sure why he bothered. It had all become pretty much mechanical to him. And so, a part that had always remained hidden would come out and crave the one thing he desperately wanted more then anything else. Love. He felt pathetic and cliché wanting it, but in the end it was what he truly desired.

He had never known his mother's love because his parents died when he was very young. He tried to get love from Mortianna but was always turned away, told that love was pointless and that all someone needed was power. Having always been reprimanded by wanting love, he hid it away deep inside himself, covering it up with the bitterness that everyone saw.

Yes, Nottingham wanted love and he knew who he wanted to love him. The lovely Lady Marian. He had seen Marian before at social gatherings but had never met her up close until one day several years ago at a Beltane Celebration. He smiled to himself as he remembered that night.

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Author's Note: I got the idea behind this story from an author on Adult Fanfiction named **snapeaddict. **They have not updated it is many years, and I do not know what they planned for the story. So this is my story.

This is my first time posting here and I am not sure if I am doing it correctly. I hope it works. Please review


	2. Chapter One: A Beltane Memory

I do not own Robin Hood

**Chapter One: A Beltane Memory**

_Seven years previous…_

Tonight was Beltane. The celebration to welcome summer. Seventeen-year old Nottingham strained to see the flickering fires in the distance. He desperately wanted to go join the festivities. Mortianna had, however, forbidden him to go. She did not want him to leave the castle so he wouldn't draw attention to the witch living in his basement. He scowled as he thought about the argument they had had earlier that evening.

_flashback_

"Please let me go." He had begged, "I only want to watch."

"I told you no! We do not celebrate today. It is a disgusting holiday and you will have no part of it!" Mortianna had replied.

"How can it be any more disgusting then what you have me do here!" he regretted it immediately when she slapped him hard on his head, her long nails almost cutting him.

"You best watch your tongue my child, or it we be used next time I need one." She whispered as she grabbed his chin and forced him to look in to her mismatched eyes. He was taller than her, stronger than her, and yet he felt powerless against her.

"I am not yours." He said through clenched teeth and pulled out of her grasp started walking down the hall to his room. He heard the door lock behind him as he shut the door. Cursing, he had gone over to the window and watched as the sun set.

_End flashback_

Still looking out the window he could see that the distance fires were growing bigger and he could barely make out some people around them. He was still too far away to see clearly what was going on, and with each passing moment he wished more and more that he could be out there and away from his room. He heard the lock on his door scrapping as the key was turned and a servant walked in with his dinner.

"Is the old hag asleep?" he asked as the servant closed the door and brought the food over to him.

"I am afraid not Milord, but she had us bring you dinner before she returned to the basement." He said and put the food down on a table. Once he did Nottingham grabbed him. The servant gave a small yelp and trembled as he looked into his lord's face.

"You will bring me some of your clothes so that I may sneak through the servants' chambers to the kitchen."

"M-Milord. The witch, she said-"

"She is not the Master of this house! I am! And you will do what I ask. Now go! And be quick." The servant ran out of the room, almost tripping as he opened the door. While he waited, he hurriedly ate the bread that had been brought to him and finished in time with his servant returning with some old clothes. Nottingham quickly changed and instructed the servant that he was to lock his room after he left to give the appearance that he was still locked in.

"When I return you will let me back in my room and the witch never need know I was gone." He pressed some coins into the man's hand as he walked out the door. "For your silence." He said and quietly sped down the hall. He took the long way around so he could stay as far away from the basement as possible. After almost being seen by two maids walking to their chambers, he made it to the kitchen, and slipped out the door.

He quickly made his way to the fires. For a bit, he just watched off to the side, unsure if he wanted to do more. He was surprised at how much everyone was enjoying it. Whenever he did rituals with Mortianna it always involved killing animals where the end result was him being covered in blood, an activity that he did not enjoy. However, here at this celebration there had been singing, dancing, and drinking. Some people danced around the maypole while others were jumping over one of the bonfires that had reduced to embers to purify themselves. There was more reason that the festival was so much livelier. It had been rumored that King Richard was going on a crusade against the Moores for the Holy Land. The people wanted to celebrate as much as they could before war. He couldn't blame them, after all, that's what he was there for.

He had joined soon and after several drinks and much dancing he saw her. At that moment, he felt his breath leave him. She was beautiful. Her curly brown hair fell delicately down her back. She was the cousin to the King and was very wealthy, but she had worn a simple peasant's gown with a crown of flowers on her head. Even with this simple dress, she looked like royalty.

After admiring the Lady Marian for several moments, he got up the courage to ask her to dance. He was so thankful that it was dark with only the firelight dancing across his face as he did not want her to recognize him. The smile she gave his made his legs feel like jelly and he started feeling emotions he had not felt before as she extended her hands to join the dance.

They danced for a long while before they decided to leave the firelight and go for a walk hand in hand, laughing and stumbling from the mead they had drunk. Once out of sight of the fire and the festive activities became only murmurs, he lay down in the grass and looked up at the stars. He heard Marian lie down next to him and he looked over at her. She was on her stomach with her chin in her hands while she looked at him. She had a sly smile on her face before she spoke.

"I am the Lady Marian; may I ask your name milord?"

"I am deeply sorry milady, but I am not supposed to be out and would rather not reveal my name."

"Why, that must be nonsense. Why would one be forbidden to enjoy such a night?"

"My…mistress does not wish for me to be out of the castle. I am a… servant at the Castle of Nottingham." He lied.

"I promise I won't tell anyone. I don't know who I would tell anyway. I have never talked to the young Nottingham and I didn't even know there was a mistress. I thought they died years ago."

"Well, there are other people at the castle besides the young master." He said feeling strange talking about himself in this way.

"Oh, who else it there? I had always wondered who had raised him."

"Ah, well…" he was uncomfortable with the idea of talking about Mortianna. He knew most people suspected the witch, but he didn't feel like confirming it. "There were some servants entrusted to raise him along with a bit of help from his Aunt, the mother of his cousin, Guy of Gisborne." This was not entirely untrue, there were other servants in the castle and he had often met up with his cousin. Marian seemed happy with this response and pressed no further.

"Well, young servant of Nottingham, you are an incredible dancer."

"Thank you milady. You as well." He said and turned back to the stars. He felt her move closer to him and his heart sped up. When her fingers started to run through his black hair he was afraid he was going to loose control. This beautiful woman thought he was a servant and was still there with him, not caring about the social status. He hand moved from his hair to his face. Fingers dancing over his cheeks and down to his chin over the beginnings of the beard he was starting to grow. Her skin was so soft having never known a days work. He stiffened as he felt his body react to those soft fingers as they left his face and went down his neck to his chest. He couldn't help himself. The next moment he let out a soft groan as he rolled over on top of her with his face buried in her hair. He felt her breath stop and then quicken and he lifted his head up to look at her. Her eyes were closed and mouth open trying to slow her breathing. He took his hand and held it to her cheek.

"Milady?" he asked, worried he had scared her with his momentary loss of control. When she didn't respond, he started to move away when she grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him toward her. Their faces were within inches of each other when she opened her eyes and looked into his.

"Don't leave." She whispered. He felt her breath on his lips and leaned in closer.

"Milady, this is not right. You are of noble blood and I am just a servant." He knew this to be a lie and while he was not of noble blood it would not be a disgrace, but as his current identity it could be dangerous for her. If she was disgraced, she could end up as nothing more then a Lord's whore instead of in a proper marriage.

"Tonight everyone is equal. We must enjoy this night while it lasts"

"Milady… the repercussions…you may never have a proper marriage." He was having a hard time concentrating as he tried to restrain himself.

"Servant of Nottingham, no one will ever have to know. Tonight is Beltane. Let us give ourselves to each other to celebrate."

Nottingham was about to make more objections when she leaned into him, shattering the last of his restraints. He crushed his lips to hers and felt her arms go around his neck pulling him closer. As her lips parted, Nottingham let his hands start to wander her body. He pulled away from her to catch his breath and stared at her beauty. Her eyes were partly closed and he could barely see the slight flush of her cheeks in the moonlight. Nottingham swooped down and started kissing her again, kissing every bit of skin he could. When kissed all he could, he undid her simple gown to find more. Marian's hands roamed his body. Feeling her warm skin on his, he wanted to loose himself in her. Before he could complete the act, however, he stopped. His body knew what to do, but he had become frightened. He had once been forced to watch as Mortianna had Guy rape one of the servants for a ritual she was doing. God, she was really twisted. He remembered her screams as Guy forced himself inside the virgin maid. He hadn't been able to sleep for many nights after that. He didn't want to hear Marian scream that way. He did not want to cause her pain. She must have seen the fear in his eyes because she brought a hand up to his cheek. Her touch brought him back to the present as he looked at her.

"It is not polite too keep a lady waiting." She said and moved her hips. Nottingham whispered apologies in her ear as he pushed forward and she grimaced in pain. Soon they moved together, enjoying each other fully. Both cried out as they went over the edge. As they came down from the bliss, they separated and lay back on the grass. He looked over to Marian as she nuzzled up to him. He pulled a few strands of her curly hair away from her sweaty face and she laid her head down on his bare chest, breathing fast.

"Mmm…yes." Marian whispered against his chest. "Truly a wonderful dancer." Nottingham put his hand on her head as she lay on his chest. He had started to run his fingers through her hair and did so for a long while before he spoke.

"Milady? Would… would you Handfast with me tonight?" It took all the courage he had built up to say that. Handfasting was a Pagan tradition that a man and woman would take part in on Beltane to bind themselves to each other. It was not recognized by the church as a real marriage as it had been at one time, but Pagans still practiced this ritual to symbolize having given yourself to another. Nottingham was enchanted by Marian and while he knew that he could not reveal himself to her, he wanted a way to remember this night forever. She looked at him for a moment before she smiled.

"Of course I will." They both got up to put their clothes on straight. Nottingham looked around. He wasn't sure what they should use to Handfast when he looked down at his servants shirt. He undid the white leather that tied the top of it up and turned toward Marian. When Marian had tied up the front of her dress she led him over to a bush. She reached down inside it and came out with a drop of blood on her thumb. She winced slightly as she squeezed her thumb to make the drop bigger before rubbing her thumb onto the leather, staining it. Nottingham kissed her wound before doing the same. Now both ends of the leather were stained with a bit of their blood. They clasped they're hands together and wrapped the leather around them, binding them.

"Heart to thee, body to thee, forever and always, so mote it be." They said in unison before they kissed each other. After the kiss ended, Nottingham held her close with is free arm, their hands still bonded together between them.

"Marian! Where are you?" Marian pulled away and quickly untied her hand from his. She looked to toward the voices and silently cursed before looking back at Nottingham.

"My brother, Peter. I am afraid that I must go. Sorry." She said hastily. She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and whispered, "I hope to see you again some day." Then, she ran off in the direction of the voice. He watched her as she walked off and saw two young men go over to her. One, he recognized as her brother Peter of Dubois and the other he saw was the young Robin of Locksley. When he saw Robin try to pull Marian toward him he clenched his fists in fury. When he felt something, he looked down to see the leather still slightly wrapped around his hand. When he looked back up he saw Marian leaning away from Robin as he continued to shower affections on her in his clearly drunk state. After seeing that it was obvious that Marian was ignoring Robin's advances, he unclenched his fists. He swore that one day he would be able to have Marian for his own and make their Handfasting official with a blessed marriage from the Bishop of Southwell. He would be with Marian. He would make sure of it.

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**Author's Note:** Yay! New chapter! I hope my rating is alright for the story since it is pretty much just strongly implied sex rather than graphic. If it needs to be changed, someone let me know. I should have gotten this up sooner than I did, things just got a little hectic in my life for a bit. Things should be getting better soon though, and I hope to add more soon. As always, please review.


	3. Chapter Two: Returns and Foretold Death

I do not own Robin Hood

**Chapter Two: The Returning Son and Foretold Death**

Nottingham was jerked from his memory by a knock on the door.

"Enter." He said. The door opened to reveal a woman. Nottingham forced a reassuring smile on his face as he looked at the whore. She was a new face and Nottingham briefly wondered when she had arrived at the castle. They had probably thought he needed someone new because he has refused the last few women sent to him. Truthfully, he would rather not. These women didn't mean anything to him. As far as he was concerned he was doing them a favor. He didn't mind them living in the castle, they were taken care of and off the streets to be harmed by others. But why did he have to do more? Mortianna had been angry with him when he started refusing services and told him he had an image to maintain and that he needed to do his part. He had tried to get away with them just visiting and not providing their services, but Mortianna had found out anyway. So he did his best to hide his distaste and went about business. He had not gotten far when the door to his chamber burst open, and his cousin storming in. Nottingham looked at Guy annoyed. He wanted to do what he had to with the girl and have her leave. Interruptions would make that last longer.

"Cousin. I trust you justify your intrusion with news of profound value?" Guy looked at him, he could see the anger running through him.

"I met a hooded man today who bade me warn you not to harm his people." The Sheriff looked away from Guy to the girl next to him. Embarrassed at the entrance of another man, she had been pulling her clothes back over herself. Thinking that Guy might leave faster if he knew Nottingham was busy, he yelled at her not to. He felt bad right away, but he had to deal with whatever problem his cousin had now gotten himself into.

"His name?" He watched as Guy swallowed.

"Robin of Locksley." Nottingham gave a small laugh at the name, while he secretly wanted to throw things about. He did not like Locksley, true, but that didn't stop a small feeling of guilt that welled up inside him. Four months previous, Lord Locksley had been accused of witchcraft and found guilty. He had been there himself while Guy and his men captured and killed him, leaving him in the ruins of his manor. Nottingham did not believe that the accusations could be true, Locksley had always been for God, King and Country. He had a feeling that somehow Mortianna had deposited a large sum of money into the Bishop's pocket to agree that the Lord had indeed been sinning after Guy had come to them with the pronouncement that Locksely had been a devil worshiper.

"The prodigal son returns." He said bitterly.

"He bested four of my men."

"Yes and how drunk were your men?" He felt agitated. The guilty feeling would not go away and he just wanted Guy to leave to he could finish with the girl. "And yet you survived Cousin." Guy looked affronted.

"I barely survived." Nottingham rolled his eyes at his indignation. Guy kept talking. "He has a companion, a dark skinned foreigner with a marked face of Islam and a Saracens sword." Nottingham was getting more annoyed. He wished again that Guy would leave so he could then send the girl off as well.

"I trust Locksley has visited his manor and found the home fire still burning." He laughed again, but inside he felt another pang of guilt. Guy went on a bit more about Locksley's attack on him and his men. Nottingham was hardly listening. Tired of his cousin's babbling, he started to think of how to get rid of him when a small bell on the wall rang. He looked up at it and gave a small smile. "Time for portents cousin!" He got up, and feeling worse by the moment, pushed the whore towards Guy. "Have yourself a treat after such a hard day." He said, and left his room to go to the basement of his home.

He walked down the many stairs wondering what on earth the old hag wanted now. He was glad to be out of Guys company, but still, her company wasn't much better. He opened the door and called in.

"Mortianna?" He cringed as he walked along the wooden planks that formed a walkway though the swamp she had created, kicking rats off as he went. He suddenly heard her lurking in the fog. He replaced his look of disgust into one filled with charm. "You called madam?" He said with curiosity. She just looked at him, then turned away to pick up a large metal plate on the ground. She moved it over on the stone floor and sat down in front of it, chasing away the frogs and other creatures that were near. Nottingham stood behind her as she took one of her long, disgusting nails and opened an egg over the plate. Out poured a red liquid that he felt was most likely blood. She tossed the shell away and pulled out her runes, dropping them into the liquid.

"What do you see?" He asked as she picked up the plate and moved in this way and that, getting a good look at the runes.

"The son of a dead man. He precedes the Lionheart." She said Nottingham growled and bowed his head in annoyance, cursing Locksley's name.

"King Richard returning would not go well. Will it affect your…my plan?" He asked. It was her plan really, but he needed to take the place she had set up for him. She continued to look at the runes till she suddenly threw them away and started cursing about something.

"What is it? What is wrong?" He asked in earnest.

"The painted man! He will be our death!" Mortianna grabbed him and pulled him into a desperate hug. Nottingham tried to not flinch at her touch and held her too him, trying to comfort her and think about what Guy had said about Locksley's companion.

"Kill them!" She shrieked, "Kill them both!" She sobbed into him. He shuddered as she touched him, but he did his best as he rubbed the back of the closest thing he had ever known as a mother. He started to think of a strategy. He decided to send Guy out for news. Perhaps Guy would find him and capture him. He needed to stop Locksley before it was too late.

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**Author's Note: **This is all that I have written at the moment, but I am working on new chapters. I know I said this before, but my life has gone back in forth with ups and downs lately. I know it is not a good excuse, but it is the truth. I really thinks things are gonna calm down now though, so hopefully within the next month there will be a new chapter. Thanks and please review.


	4. Chapter Three: Horse Thieves

**Chapter Three: Horse Thieves**

Marian stood completely still in the shadows as her servant let the man into her home. She had seen them walking toward her home from her room. Wondering what was going on, she had come up with a plan. She only needed to wait. She listened as Sarah spoke from the shadows upstairs.

"Who are you?" she asked. Marian looked at the man, waiting for his response.

"Robin of Locksley." He replied. Marian's heart started to beat faster. That could not be. They had received news. News that spoke of his capture. He was presumed dead. He had to be dead. No one escaped. But, if he was here, where was…She was jolted back by his next question, demanding to know who the voice belong too.

"I am the Maid Marian." Sarah replied as she walked into the light. Marian rolled her eyes as she saw the surprise and slight disgust on Locksley's face when he saw her. Sarah was by no means beautiful, but she did not look bad. Although, if Locksley was thinking about Marian in her youth, it was no wonder he hesitated when he said the years had been kind. Now he would not leave her home, going on about protection. What protection? She pointed her sword into his back. She wanted him to get out. Instead of leaving however, he decided to fight her. A lady she might be, but as cousin to the King she had forced her brother to teach her all he knew. She fought Locksley with relative ease, ignoring the fact that had he been armed the fight might be going in a different direction. She had almost had him when he dodged her attack and pinned her against the wall. After using a candle to burn her hand, she screamed in pain, revealing herself immediately. He pulled off her helmet and looked at her. Annoyed at loosing and being discovered, she quickly kneed him between his legs while he was distracted by the entrance of his companions.

After she had changed back into clothes befitting her status, she met up with Locksley outside her home. There, he presented Peter's Ring to her and told the story of their escape, and his death. Silent tears slid down her cheek as she took the ring.

"I am truly sorry Marian." He told her. "No one feels his loss more that I." Marian slightly scoffed at his pronouncement and muttered about having to let her mother in London know. He inquired on why she was not there with her to stay safe.

"While you and my brother were off in the war, Nottingham has plundered the shire. I have so many to look after here. And as the King's Cousin, it is my duty to do so."

"Marian, I swore to your brother that I would protect you. I have come home to find my home in ruins and my father murdered. I must make myself of some use and fulfill his wish." He said as he trailed behind her and she walked away from him, more tears coming. She turned back to him.

"All I remember of you is a spoiled bully who used to burn my hair as a child!"

"War and prison can change a man." He replied quietly. Marian looked up at him, trying to see if his words held any truth.

"Oh Robin. You must not believe the charges against your father. It was Nottingham and his witch." That whole house really, she thought. Nothing good had ever lived in that house. Well, maybe one… She was startled back by Robin's dark companion yelling for him. Marian watched as Robin climbed the wall and spoke with him. Soon they jumped back down and rushed back over to her.

"Nottingham's soldiers are on their way here. I may have killed some of his men."

"Do you call this protection?" Marian asked. Robin made motions to draw his sword. "No, I can take care of myself." She watched as Robin's servant Duncan and the dark companion mount one of her horses. "No, wait! That's my horse!" She cried at them, but was stopped by the sound of Nottingham's soldiers getting closer. Robin wasn't leaving. He was repeating that he was sworn to protect her. "No more boyish gestures. Go!" But still he wouldn't leave. At a loss of what else to do, she turned to the armed men coming toward her. "Stop them! They're stealing my horses!" Robin gave her a quick glare that turned into a smirk, and then rode off with his companions. Marian watched them until Gisborne came right up to her on his horse.

"Are you sheltering outlaws now Milady?" He asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Marian scowled at him.

"They are thieves you imbecile." She replied to him. Gisborne gave her a little smirk, a little like the one Robin had just given her. He urged his horse a little closer to her and leaned over. He gave her a slow look up and down, making her feel a little dirty from the hunger in his eyes.

"I hope they didn't steal your virtue as well." He whispered at her, then sat back up and shouted at his men. "A crown for the man who brings me Locksley's head!" Then he gave her a quick nod, and rode off after his quarry. Marian felt herself shiver at the thought of Gisborne undressing her with his eyes, then she smiled to herself a little. Steal her virtue? Robin? She laughed a little. If only they knew. Her virtue was long gone, given to a servant she had met on Beltane. She had spent a wonderful night with him. She closed her eyes as she remembered that night again. The feel of his hands on her body, of his lips on her skin. She shivered again, but this time it was pleasant. She was sad she had never seen him again. There had been a few more celebrations that year when she was sixteen, but she had never seen him again. Then Richard went off to the Crusades and everyone stopped their Pagan ways. Well, at least in public. Marian opened her eyes and started back inside her home, thinking about her servant all the way. All she knew is that he worked in Nottingham's home, or at least, he had. What had happened to him? Oh, she wished she had learned his name!

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**Authors Note:** New chapter! I did decently there, getting a new chapter up in a reasonable time. I hope...Anyway. Hopefully a new chapter in a few weeks. Enjoy and please review!


	5. Updates

I never wanted to be one of those authors that started a story and never finish it. I hated sitting and checking on the story every so often only to be depressed that there was still no update. Unfortunately, I have found myself doing just that. There are not really any good excuses as to why I am not updating, just that I am doing other things. I hope that at least letting the few people have read my first attempt at fan fiction know that I probably not going to update so they don't continuously get their hopes crashed. I do hope to eventually finish it one day, but I honestly have no idea if and when that will happen. Sorry to all.


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